Studying in America August 2015 for a year- long distance relationship?
me and my boyfriend have been together for over a year now, was just wondering how can you make the distance not seem as bad, when you're not together for a year?
This question was asked by Jessica Clarey from The University of Hull , asked on 12th August 2014 and has been read 4356 times.
Answers (4)
Skype, email, write (real letters!), visit - the time will soon pass and your relationship may end up being all the stronger, with each of you enriched by separate experiences along the way.
With the power of the internet, you can keep in contact for free and a message or a quick chat every day will really help to close the distance and will make you feel like you are still playing an active part in each other's lives. Real letters and parcels occasionally, especially as a surprise, are amazing to send and to receive. It's so much fun to put together little (light!) gifts that you think your other half will enjoy and everyone loves to get post! If you're tech savvy, I think there are apps you can get that allow you to share messages and photos that can only be accessed by the two of you, like a secret messaging service, which might be quite fun!
If he is planning on coming to visit you, booking that visit as early as possible (before you leave if you can manage it) means that you have something to look forward to. I personally found it much more difficult to say goodbye when I had no idea when I would see my boyfriend again!
Finally, I would recommend treating each other with compassion and understanding. It is easy to feel upset or irrationally angry if your other half is out having fun when you want to skype, but there will always be an occasion when the tables are turned, and he is trying to get hold of you when you're busy with your new friends! Just remember that it is important for you both to have your own lives outside each other - no matter how annoyed you are at the time!
I had already been in a long distance relationship between the UK and Finland for a year before I did my year abroad, so it wasn't much different for me, other than the flight between us being slightly longer and expensive. I think distance can really help you value your relationship and you appreciate your time together much more. It's also really fun to share your new experiences with your other half if they come to visit. I knew I needed some extra cash to support our relationship during my year abroad, so I decided to the English Language Assistantship to earn money and stay in Europe to get an ERASMUS grant. If you are flexible with spending money together this definitely helps, so you can help each other out when you need it.
Skype and other things like texting are great, but I think its best to limit it so you do go out and experience the culture. Encourage him to get his own hobbies so he doesn't feel like he's just waiting for you to return. In the long term, its much healthier to maintain your own life alongside your relationship because if you do happen to break up it won't be the end of the world. I also think establishing trust before you go is very important because jealousy is not a good thing. Becoming jealous, overly protective or controlling is unlikely to help the relationship survive.
My relationship survived, but that's because I was ready for the challenge. If you're very dependent on your other half and used to spending every waking minute with them, its bound to be harder. If your relationship can survive the year abroad, then you're probably ready for many other challenges that may come your way in the future!
One tip: COMMUNICATION, COMMUNICATION, COMMUNICATION!
Accept that it will be a little bit harder and then find the solution and way to work through it, and if you both want to make it work it will work.
It will strengthen your relationship and help you both appreciate your time together even mroe when you come back.
Before you leave, try and look at the time differences you will have and look at how you will call each other.
Try new things, maybe sending post cards, notes and little gifts - it's the thought that counts and letting the other person know that you still care.
When you first start study abroad, you'll have Skype and Social Networking to connect, just make sure you don't always stay in your room skyping each other remember to go out and make new friends.
But I wish you the best in your Study Abroad, you'll love it and your relationship too!
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