Long distance break-up advice
Jennifer is coming to the end of her year abroad as an Erasmus student in Gelnhausen, Germany. Here is her story about the emotional rollercoaster she faced on her year abroad, and her top tips for long-distance break-ups.
My year abroad in Germany was a bit of a rollercoaster as far as relationships are concerned. You certainly don't expect to leave for your year abroad with one boyfriend and then return with another. A shock to the system doesn't even nearly express how I feel about the whole situation and everything I thought I knew about my future has changed.
After my year abroad began, my relationship with my boyfriend became very difficult as we couldn't speak that often and I missed him terribly. Things got so bad that eventually we broke up after a 14-month relationship at the end of January this year.
Naturally being a young and heartbroken teenager, I was hurt, upset and a bit depressed. I knew that this was going to ruin my year abroad, as all I wanted to do was curl up in a ball, stay in my room and never go out. For two weeks this is actually precisely what it was like. I was just empty and wanted to go home.
Finally, I decide to get in control of my life again. I started afresh: I got rid of everything to do with my ex, threw things away, tore things up, got my phone out and hit the internet. I started contacting my German friends and arranged to go to a cocktail bar in town with one of them. She said she and her boyfriend would pick me up and mentioned that another guy was going to be at this bar too. Having barely left my flat for two weeks I was naturally nervous but I managed to get myself together and we headed out.
It was just a 5-minute drive to the Cabana bar in Gelnhausen where I was staying in Hessen for my year abroad, and we all sat around the table ready to order drinks. I sat next to my friend and her boyfriend, and the other guy sat opposite me. I looked at this stranger who seemed to be looking at me in the same way. I know that sounds rather cheesy or over the top - which ever way you want to look at it - and I can't remember too much of that night, but we had a nice drink together and at the end of the night he asked if he could drive me home, since apparently he lived just 5 minutes from where I was staying - which was to be an amazing coincidence!
While driving me back, we had had a great chat and I said I would like to see him again. He said I could ask a friend for his number, so the following day I texted him mine, and the rest, shall we say, is history. I am currently living with him in his flat in Gelnhausen!
Top 5 tips for dealing with a long-distance break up:
- Cut all contact with your ex. It is doing you no good keep calling, it will just ruin your year abroad.
- Get in touch with friends: Be they local friends or friends from home, they can really help you now.
- Get a new hobby. Change things around you, do something new: a new sport, a new club, just something.
- Get out there, no use sitting inside your flat, you will get lonely and feel down.
- Make plans, think about where you are going to go tomorrow, and don't leave a day in your diary empty!
If you want to know else about this story, then just tweet me @JeSpel91. I can't name names but I can give people advice about long-distance relationships.